I'm Searching For Some Real Love

Oh, Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day used to be my favorite holiday, hands down. It was so much fun in school as a wee one. I loved making construction paper boxes and I loved the thought process in picking Valentine's cards for each classmate, always avoiding giving the cutesy ones to boys I liked. (I always liked at least two boys in my class, pretty much exactly how I am these days. One boy is just not enough for me! I'm too good at multi-tasking.)

That all being said, I dislike Valentine's, and most holidays these days. I have stopped buying into "YOU HAVE TO DO THIS BECAUSE IT HAPPENS TO BE THE 14TH OF THE MONTH TODAY" mindset. It's just kind of annoying.

I wanted to stop sipping the haterade for a second, though. I picked up a glass of pink, bubbly champagne (I did, in fact, on Friday night!) and here I am, with some lovvvvvve for you. Consider this the cutesy Valentine I avoided giving guys named Gary and Carlisle when I was in elementary school. I would never willingly show this blog to a boy I had a crush on!

...just kidding. I'm so that forward girl who makes the first moves. Every boy I like knows that I like them. When you're as good looking as I am, you have to tell them! Boys are scared of me!

Happy Valentine's Day or The 10 Best Ways to Say "I Love You" Without Actually Saying "I Love You"

1. No list like this can pass by without a Friends reference. What can I say? I get by with a little help from my Friends. Of the many, many moments on Friends where love is confessed, my favorite is when Rachel initially finds out that Ross was in love with her. You know the time--right before she freaks out and Chandler freaks out and then she chases Ross down to meet him at the airport just to have her heart crushed because he's with another woman! Isn't that just kick in your crotch, spit on your neck fantastic?

After Rachel opens her gift from Ross (not present), Monica mentions that she can't believe Ross did that. Chandler says, "come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?"

I always wanted to say "ridiculously expensive crystal duck" and have it mean, "I'm in love with you." Maybe now I can.

2. The West Wing's Josh and Donna are a great back-and-forth relationship. The show ran for seven seasons, and Josh and Donna were a driving force of interest. Don't get me wrong, I love the rest of the show, and I love politics (shockingly, I do!), but Josh and Donna are one of the reasons I come back. Still. Always.

In my favorite scene of the show, ever, the most romantic, authentic, realistic exchange happens:


Josh: I'm just saying--if you were in an accident, I wouldn't stop for a beer.
Donna: If you were in an accident, I wouldn't stop for red lights.

Way more effective than saying "I love you."

I also love when Donna tells Josh that he's better than her ex-boyfriend. It reminds me identically of me and one of my dear back-and-forths.


3. "I keep you workin' that Hermes Birkin Bag/Manolo Blahnik Timbs/aviator lens/600 drops/Mercedes Benz."

Also known as, "I love you, girl. Enough to buy you tons of crazy shit."

4. "I wish I knew how to quit you."

Jack and Ennis never tell each other "I love you."

If you're paying attention, the best couples never really do. Everyone says "I love you." You have to stand out from the crowd somehow.

5. Say it with signs.

"And my wasted heart will love you..." gosh, I wish someone would say that to me, as depressing as it is.

I feel like my wasted heart loves deeper than my full one. It is quite the relatable feeling.

6. "It wasn't over. It still isn't over."

After quite a bit of time apart, does Noah--big strong, sexy, bearded Noah--tell Allie he loves her? No, because that would be an incredibly boring way of saying he wants to grab her and make love to her.

Instead, he tells her it isn't over and doesn't even let her respond.

...well, I mean, she responds. She responds well.

7. Instead of just saying "I love you," try asking 21 Questions. Such as:
Could you love me in a Bentley?
Could you love me on a bus?
Are you mad 'cause I'm asking you 21 questions?
If I went back to a hoopty from a Benz, would you poof and disappear like some of my friends?

Just sayin'...I leave my friends when they downgrade vehicles. Weakkkk move.
(Also, rest in peace, sweet Nate.)

8. Listening to "Endless Love" in the dark.

Oh, come on, friends never listen to "Endless Love" in the dark. It is a subtle but clear move. I would definitely hook up with anyone making the reference. (Either to Happy Gilmore or Friends. Double hook up for both references.)

9. "I can't. I'm involved now. You let go, and I'm, I'm gonna have to jump in there after you."

"But I'm too involved now. You jump, I jump remember? I can't turn away without knowing you'll be all right... That's all that I want."


Jack: Rose! You're so stupid. Why did you do that, huh? You're so stupid, Rose. Why did you do that? Why?
Rose: You jump, I jump, right?
Like his name-twin in Brokeback Mountain, Jack Dawson never tells Rose that he loves her. When she tries to say it to him, freezing on a door in the Atlantic Ocean, he shuts her down, tells her not to say her good-byes.

But, we know Jack loves Rose. He never says it. My favorite kind of love: the deep, unspoken kind. Love without words is my favorite love.


10. Say it with a kiss.

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous."

It is on my wall and it is so true. Kisses say I love you way more than the meaningless words do. Quiet down and kiss already.

And then don't over analyze it later. What a buzz kill.

My real-life favorite:

11. "I thought you'd say that, but I'm just so at home with you that I knew I could watch it with you. There's just something about you, Jess."

There's just something about you.

Happy Valentine's Day.
<3