25.5: Advice From a Woman, Not Quite a Woman

It isn't even the end of February yet, and I feel like my life has been a roller coaster of lessons--per usual. Is this a "in my 20s" thing, or will life always be like this?

I am officially six months into being 25. Let's talk, babes. 

I Love Learning Stuff
25.5 Edition

Telling the truth is awesome.

Say what you mean. 

It's okay to not be "the better" or "bigger" person. I have played into this my whole life. My "moral superiority" bullshit got old fast, right about when I kissed a dude that I maybe shouldn't have, and then felt more bad about not feeling bad than I felt bad about the thing. (I'd do it again.) Know what else? I hate my ex-boyfriend. I think he's a huge douche bag who uses women to make himself feel better until he chucks them in a recycling bin for the next piece of tail who walks on by. He's not just young, ignorant, and easily confused: he's an asshole. And I think he is mean. So I don't even care who knows that now.

I love drinking wine, and I love drinking tequila, and I don't care if I drink three times a week, or sometimes four, because I like my social life, and things are more fun with a drink in your hand. 

I like my job. In fact, I love it. And I love my boss, and I am glad to call her a friend.
 

I think acapella versions of songs are beautiful, and I like when good looking men sing to me while walking me home at night, and I don't even care if that is super lame. 

Also, Glee is a really good show. 

Having something in common with someone does not mean you are going to be more or less of a great couple. It is a chemistry thing. It is an understanding thing. It is a support thing. Do not calculate it, that's annoying. 

Your experiences are not, and will never be, everyone's experiences. 

I am unattracted to men who think sports are really awesome because I like dorks, and dorks don't like sports. 

Generalizations are okay sometimes.

I heard that people care about 1) teeth and then 2) grammar when finding a mate. I care about 1) grammar and then 2) good looks and then 3) the ability to crack me up, not make me laugh because that is easy, but crack me up like make me feel drunk when I am sober. And then I guess I care about 4) teeth. 

I do care how many "likes" my HelloGiggles posts get, and I am proud that people like the stupid shit I have to say, because I love the stupid shit I have to say. I am proud that I have over 600 twitter followers, and I can't believe 300 people "like" me on facebook, and I care about that stuff, and I am not ashamed of that. 

I definitely know more about the Oscars than you guys do. 

I wholeheartedly believe in astrology. 

I have favorites. They don't fluctuate, really. 

I hate waking up in the morning and not having a text message waiting for me to read it. 

Zooey Deschanel is my favorite person, like ever, and New Girl better last for seasons and seasons and seasons.

My customer crush kissing me on the mouth yesterday was nothing compared to my first, and forever customer crush making fun of the handwriting on my name tag this morning. (The little things, I tell you.) 

Be vulnerable, at least to someone in your life. 

Love unabashedly. 

Feeling > thinking. 

Sometimes, I do not want kids because I don't want to be like my mother, and sometimes I want kids because I want to be exactly like her. Sometimes, I don't want kids because I think breeding is irresponsible, and because I get annoyed really easily, and sometimes I want kids because I know I would raise them right. (Plus they would be way cute like me and mine.)

But it is okay to not have a plan, or to change your plan every five minutes. Five year plans are for high school career counselors, not for real people. 

When your heart beats fast like they always sing about in Motown songs, you got something.

Longevity is important, but so is just knowing about a person for no apparent reason. 

Have the milkshake. Just drink it, man. 

Being boy crazy is cool. It keeps you interesting. Like a #romcom. 

Comparing loves of your life is okay, but if you find yourself doing it, you are probably not with the right one. 

Support doesn't come in the form of bullying. 

Be patient, and be kind. My dreams told me so, as did Lauryn. 

Your girlfriends should always not like the girls you don't like. Even if you have never met them in real life, but you know you are meant to know each other in real life. (@mandiharris)

"Family" does not mean you are related. "Family" does not mean you have to be more than related.

Brothers are the best resource you got.

Because no one else dressed in flannel for pictures with you, and no one ever will.

Veggie sandwiches from Starbucks are great for hangovers. 

Liars are the worst. 

If you cannot tell someone that you love them, you should probably not love them. 

"These things" take time. 

Bitch to your best girl friend. That is what she is there for.

Fighting is healthy. Don't hold back. 

Don't "be friends" with your exes. I think I have said it before, but you are just so full of shit if you even pretend that's a thing. All you are doing is back-burning him or her for your own personal use. Get over it. Move on. Stop lying to yourselves. 

Fuck picking your battles. If you feel like you should battle, battle. 

Do not date hipsters. 

If they are talking shit, it only means you are interesting enough to talk about. 

Josh Groban is perfectly manly! 

Change is gonna come. Nothing stays exactly the same forever. Embrace it. Nostalgia is just a soul sucker.

Justin Bieber really is talented, you guys. 

Do not date boys who wear screen tees. You should not look way nicer than your boyfriend at all times. (Ties = sexy.) 

Do not always date someone. Know yourself, or you will never know a real relationship with someone else.

Fall in love with the people who see your heart and your mind before your perfect rack and beautiful eyes (though they can like those things too, eventually). 

The song "Hallelujah" is just...done. Just stop. 

I like her: 

Lisa Simpson is the shit.

It is okay to cry. I know, I know. I have said it before, but I mean it. 

Dean: In my experience, the prettier a girl is, the more nuts she is, which makes you insane. 

Cindy: I like how you can compliment and insult somebody at the same time, in equal measure.

Buy your friends drinks when you can afford it. It is a really nice thing to do. 

...

Stream of consciousness is the best way to think through your life. Go ahead.